In a study by Dr. David Richter and his colleagues, first-time and experienced mothers and fathers suffer at least six years of sleep deprivation after the mother gives birth. What’s more revealing is that the wife loses three times more sleep than her husband during the baby’s first year. 

These advice will help the struggling mothers balance their duties at home and at work.

Discipline

Teaching your child to be responsible as early as possible eases concerns on house duties. Just make sure to do it in the right way.

“When my kids were still young, I trained them to do their homework on their own if they find it easy. If it’s difficult, I made sure to assist them. I also teach them to cook, so they can prepare the food they want on their own,” Evelyn F. Javier, Supervising Science Research Specialist, and a mother of three gown up children, said.

“In handling money, I taught them to think first ‘before buying.’ First, assess if it’s really a need it. Second, if they need it, we determine how soon. If it’s needed later, then they save for it. Third, if they really need it urgently, then I wouldn’t hesitate to buy for them. Children should know the priorities and what are not,” she added.

Work is for office, home is for family

Working in the office usually requires 8 hours a day. It’s good to finish everything on time so when you go home, you will leave everything behind and focus on your family. This rule is essential to make them feel you make time for them. However, when unexpected matters occur that require attention, inform your family ahead that you will extend office time.

For Evelyn H. Bandonill, mother of three boys and PhilRice’s Senior Science Research Specialist, “As much as possible, I spend my weekends at home. If there are times that I need to finish some tasks in the office, I ask for understanding from my family that I need to spend extra time beyond office hours,” she said.

Convene your tribe once in a while

With motherhood, they say that a woman tends to forget herself and focus on her duties. But for you to be a better mother, go out and have fun; relieve the stress and create happy memories.

 “Always check their emotional tanks. Parents are the one responsible for filling up their children’s empty tanks because this will greatly affect their behavior. Never shut them up, instead give them the chance to express their emotions, otherwise, they will suppress themselves,” Bandonil shared.

Plan ahead to avoid office conflicts

Being open and honest with your supervisor is one way to make them understand your situation. Ask permission days or even a month before a family activity. However, before talking about that scheduled event, make sure to finish the crucial paper works, or dedicate additional time to complete the left tasks.

Javier narrated that it was inevitable to encounter bosses who were inconsiderate when it comes to these things. However, she made sure to beat her deadlines as much as possible to avoid conflicts with her boss.

 “I give priority to my children especially when parents’ presence is needed. Whenever I am attending an event and haven’t finished my office tasks, I work late nights just to finish them. Sometimes I don’t even sleep,” Javier said.

Parenting is teamwork, work with your partner[

Doing things with a helping hand makes life easier and faster, so with parenting. Talk with your partner about your schedules and divide work accordingly. Make sure you understand each other’s priorities especially when work intervenes.

 “Since my husband’s schedule is more flexible than mine, he spends more time with our three boys. He sends and fetch them to and from school and attends most of our children’s school activities and PTCA meetings, goes with the kids for a haircut,” Bandonill said.

Dividing the work or working together lessens the burden. Planning could also be a great avenue to have quality time with your partner.

Parenting is a lifetime commitment. Let’s not forget that emotional and moral support reflected through warm gestures are great symbols of love a parent should give. We honor all the parents especially the moms out there, whatever ways and face it may be.  

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Philippine Rice Research Institute (PhilRice) is a government corporate entity attached to the Department of Agriculture created through Executive Order 1061 on 5 November 1985 (as amended) to help develop high-yielding and cost-reducing technologies so farmers can produce enough rice for all Filipinos.

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Philippine Rice Research Institute